Was glad to be here at this event by TENA Malaysia. I remember seeing their latest advertisement video on Facebook about how real this issue is amongst the elderly and it was never talked about ever. Almost as if it was a taboo. The embarrassment is definitely there in all of us deep down. But this campaign today stood out and inspires to make a difference in this topic or in this situation. To be honest, not many will speak up and tell anyone they have an incontinence problem.

What is incontinence?

It is the inability to control yourself on passing motions.

When I stated anyone, I literally meant everyone no matter the age! Because this incontinence problem does not just affect the elderly. Some younger adults do experience this too.

It's also frequent amongst woman especially after birth; This is due to their weak pelvic floor muscles. But this is not some kind of disease or plague but be warned, as it can lead to those if it is left untreated!

YES! It can be cured!

The TENA advertisement video I saw on Facebook really hit a core in my soft spot. I cried because it's really touching to see how the elderly parent and adult child bonded over this matter. It is not an easy journey and everyone facing issues like this will be in denial at the start.

Juriah bt Jalalus Shuti shared her story of how she started noticing things and how she managed to resolve things between her and her mom's incontinence situation. In fact, it was Juriah that was in denial because her mom is a single supermom. It wasn't until one day her mom couldn't control herself and suddenly had a go at it at the kitchen near the fridge. They were embarrassed. But she brushed it off. After 6 months, she then realized something was wrong. She was in denial but had to do something, so she discussed with her sister. She hired a part time maid to clean the house in the morning but in the afternoon it goes back to square one. They talked about it but her mom was also in denial and Juriah had to be careful of her words when she talk to mom.

So in order to make her accept reality. Everyday, after work & after picking her 3 kids up; They'd go to her mom's place to mop the floor and wash her clothes & sheets. Until she got so tired and fed up, that one day, she stopped going over for a month. So her mom asked her sister what happened to Juriah. Then after that, Juriah came back and her mom was still in denial. Until finally she manage to convince her to accept reality and wants her to move in with her. She manage to invite her home with her AFTER she renovated her house and added 2 rooms, one of it right next to the toilet. She thought the issue was over until one day she hurt her lower back due to excessive moping as she will head home from office several times a day. That is when Juriah and her sister decided to let her try TENA. And now the problem is finally resolved temporary. You must be persistent, said Juriah.

It is advised by Dr. Peter Ng (Consultant Urologist & President of the Continence Foundation Malaysia) to go seek help and support those who are affected! Usually incontinence happens due to certain medical conditions that causes it. For example, I have been coughing for 2 months and it was so bad that I sometimes leak when I'm coughing badly non-stop, many people (including me) feel it's minor and it'll get better soon. But little did I know that as a person (especially women) gets older they will leak. Because their pelvic floor muscles has weaken.

The good news is, 80% of incontinence cases are curable. And the method of curing is really simple, you either take medication, you practice bladder training, do kegal exercise and if needed, a small surgical to insert a string in a small part of the vagina, will do it's magic to cure this incontinence issue once and for all! There are some side effects to surgical method but it is very minimal and rare.

Andrew Yap shared about how his mom (60s), when she goes for exercises and walking up the hill, she has to wear sanitary pads. And it leaks because she has to walk up and down the hill. Her friends noticed it first that her pants are wet after coming down from the hill. So she has been suffering alone for quite awhile. Andrew was studying overseas at that time and busy with his life out there in the world. Then when he finally came back, he noticed there was urine scent and also a lot of sanitary pads stocked-up at home. Over the years later, he did notice the issue but was not aware of what to do and the first person that found out, is the family GP. The GP told her to speak to her son to support her and bring her to check up at the hospital. That was when his mom finally spoke up about her incontinence problem and they went to the hospital together. She used to use the Tena after finding out about it. And after getting proper help at the hospital, her incontinence issue is now almost cured. So it can be rectified. Go to the doctor together with your loved ones. Keep providing them support, even though they won't tell you upfront of their issue. Follow them until you find the root cause with them and support them throughout.

As mentioned also by Dr. Peter Ng, incontinence depending on which type, can be cured. For example, stress incontinence (like prolong coughing or exercising or even laughing or sneezing) can be cured through "Kegel" exercise! Which is also mentioned in the Caring 101 book where you can download it on TENA website. A quick Google search will show you many results about this beneficial exercise for women out there! It was also the only exercise I did while expecting my babies because it's meant to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Another method is the surgical part which takes about 20minutes or so and it will be cured.

An overactive bladder on the other hand is slightly different but can be cured with medication or bladder training. This bladder training can be done on your own and it helps to hold your urine better. And with a proper training, you won't need any drugs to cure it!

Some simple Bladder Training steps to take note :

1. Take your phone, set the timer to 1 hour.

2. For a week, everytime your phone timer rings every 1 hour; Go to the toilet and try to pee (regardless or not you have pee)

3. The following week, set your timer to 1 hour and 15 minutes, then repeat the same action.

4. Keep increasing the timer for several weeks until you get to 3 to 4 hours apart.

It's as simple as that.

Please don't use sanitary pads, it is to hold blood and not to hold water. TENA has a technology to hold water and keep the surface dry. AND it must be dry and not wet, because if it's wet, it will affect your skin and more problems may arise down below! TENA can hold up to 400 - 600ml of urine. It will stay dry, but if it feels wet then it needs to be changed (means full already lah).

It is good to know about all these strategy, investment and knowledge that will empower you. It'll even help save your money. The cure is there and it is very rare that a doctor will just ask you to wear a pad for good.

Do You Know?

Midnight trip to the toilet is the most dangerous trip. Because it is dark, you woke up feeling groggy, the bathroom floor wet, it is dangerous; And most elderly folks are like beautiful Ming vases, there are no resilience. You see, your body will regenerate when you are unwell because you got no reserves. So you and your body are very fragile!

If midnight toilet trip is needed, get a urinal for your parents! It's safer then moving them next to the bathroom!

To be honest, if I weren't here today, I'd never know that it can be cured and it ain't a disease. It's nothing to be ashamed about, because nobody is perfect at the end of the day.

What can you do as a caregiver/friend/relative/son/daughter/in-law?

As mentioned by Evelyn Chan (Marketing Director, Vinda Group Southeast Asia) you can explore the following :

1. Take the self check list HERE

2. Download the Caring 101 handbook HERE
3. Speak to someone, a toll-free helpline is available 1-800-88-9988 or Facebook chat available for assistance from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday.

Visit TENA for more educational material and video

Website | Facebook

Life can sometimes be unpredictable. Just when things were going great, all of a sudden it can change 360° and when you least expect it!

So my sharing today is purely about me. What happened to me?

I had a great time at food reviews etc. I remember my last review was eating Durians, and my mom reminded me to take more cooling drinks before and after because of fear of being too heaty.

Well prior to that, I had some breastfeeding issues as my youngest was teething and bit me a few times, and my eldest refuse to wean off and his latch started to hurt because of his full set of teeth. So this cost me my left breast having a milk bleb. An extra skin tissue grew over the milk duct and blocked it causing discomfort. I either had to poke it with a needle, try and scrub it off or something... I blamed my itchy hands for trying to pry it off. It made a hole and then right after having Durians, I got my body too heaty till the hole will not recover. I stopped breastfeeding on my left side. I only pumped on the left.

1-2 weeks : 29th Jan 2018 onwards

That's when I started to feel weak and tired and aching from my head to toes. And with a hole in the breast that I had to pump on schedule to avoid blocked ducts, engorgements or even worst mastitis; I was worn out and tired!

3rd week :

Then I suddenly had 6 ulcers, 3 big ones in my mouth and 3 small ones on my lips. It was excruciating... I put salt, tried honey, vinegar, it was not helping. Went to see the GP at the Clinic and the GP just gave me medication for my ulcers.

My first visit to the doctor I already showed them this and they thought it's just acne.

Then I fell ill, I had on and off fever for a couple of days. I assumed it was due to the change in my Breastfeeding cos of the engorgements and blocked ducts. I had to massage, hot & cold compress until it started to soften again. Then I suddenly had high fever for 2 days and felt chills! Finished two packets of Panadol Actifast during the times I had fever. Went to see GP again, and gave me another ulcer medication and pills to make me go to the toilet.

4th week :

I was prepared to get my blood checked for dengue but my fever stopped. Then every evening I felt chills at my hands and feet, I would shiver but no fever. My body felt so weak and tired. I called my urut lady to come twice. Manage to get some wind out of my body, manage to reduce the shivers and chills I had during the evenings. But she told me to get a blood check because my body is cold, not hot and in 2 days gap she noticed my back started to have new acnes with pus inside and in batches/clusters, which is odd.

Went to my GP again and this time she said from the first day she saw me I have lost too much weight, I look pale, she said best to get immediate check-up at the hospital and she gave me a letter to a private hospital in Puchong. Went there to the A&E at night (it was a rainy night), the hospital was so freaking cold, your fish would freeze right off the floors!! Had to get extra blanket in the Emergency ward because it was freezing!

They put me on drips, took my blood which they had to squeeze it out (till my hands turned blue) because it was flowing too slow and they also took my urine sample. Waited for an hour plus and they came to tell me that they thought I had chicken pox but it's not, it's like pimples only.


Then said I had urine infection, low blood pressure, my red blood cells were low and my white cells were high. But they said I can stay if I want to, then they can run more tests on me. Or I can go back and if I want to follow up, I can come back after a week. Charged me rm700+! Gave me so many Panadols & Gastric pills which was useless to me. Some sachets to drink for my urine infection and Antibiotics for a week. I finished the sachets and antibiotics but no difference. My urine infection probably gone.

Can't believe the hospital won't give iron pills or something to boost my blood pressure. So I had to get it from the pharmacy, iron supplements. 

So my diet now revolves around pork liver soup, black chicken soup and beetroot juice.

End of 5th week : 3rd March 2018

Finally decided on a weekend to see a Chinese sinsei that my mom frequents. He saw my back and immediately said I had Shingles (in chinese is "sang se" aka Snake disease) gave me Chinese powder herbs for consuming and another mixture for mixing with rice wine and applying all over where there are Shingles on me. He said he has never seen anyone with Shingles this much before. It's going to take 10+ days for recovery.

I'm on the 4th day of my Chinese medication and it seems to be helping so far atleast better than the GP and hospital I went too who failed to diagnose this! They thought it was chicken pox and then corrected themselves saying it's acne. What the hell!

I am thankful for having really high pain-tolerence level! It's not painful for me, I just can feel what's going on and all and it's still bearable for me but for any ordinary people it will be excruciating! Even giving birth without any pain killer etc is painless to me. My gynae stitching me up without any medical intervention right after birth, I can still talk to her asking questions. That's how high my pain-tolerence level is.

So that's how I spent my Chinese New Year 2018!

I am Grateful & Thankful my mom & husband helped around alot and were a great support in my wellbeing! I could literally have bed rest but it was not the kind of rest I am asking for. This is not pleasant at all. Also my Mother-In-Law for helping to get black chicken from the morning market in KL for me, we had been searching around Subang for weeks to no avail!

UPDATED EARLY APRIL 2018
Finally recovered on 1st week of April 2018. The scars dried up. Skin peels and flaking off all those dried shingles. Had to find a good skin and hair product after recovery and was able to find some really good natural ones that soothe my skin and helped in recovery too. Will share in new posts soon.

UPDATED 15th October 2019
My shingles scar finally lightened and back to skin colour thanks to the Ultimate Duo Pack! And this is just 38 days progress! Still have 5 months for the complete repair and overhaul of my entire health. And it is natural.