Being judged as a SAHM - Sebrinah Yeo

Mother of 2 brilliant boys, an Entrepreneur of Ur Baby Store, a freelance writer/graphic designer, a fulltime blogger and a Certified Access Bars Facilitator of Access Consciousness.

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Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Being judged as a SAHM

Many of my peers have known me for being a fast-learner and a multitasker. I am able to learn on the job at a quick pace in a fast environment and multitask all the same time. But all these were during my single days. 


After marriage, life changed for the better. As a wife to my husband, I would then have to plan out our finances and everything or every decision would take two people to discuss and decide upon. The term then is no longer "I" it is "We". That is what keeps us strong together as we treat each other equally and ensure that we're both on the same page.

Then came the grand day where our first newborn baby is born. He is the greatest blessing to us and we love him so dearly. I quit my job when I was just in my 2nd trimester (and I am glad I left the company -long story not worth sharing-).

Being a SAHM-to-be was exciting and yet worrying; We had to look over our finances as a whole (depending on one sole income) and someone had to manage it well. Thankfully my husband is very supportive of my decisions and he allows me to recalculate all our finances for our family. With this I am able to put my good skills to good use for my own benefit, finally! (No longer benefitting the bosses or the corporate companies) I track all our expenses in detail on excel on monthly basis and I've managed to manage extra $$ for emergencies, included savings and allowances as monthly commitments. Financial freedom? Money don't grow on trees, financial freedom can never be achieve, when u have the money, u want more because it is never enough. We can still spend on luxury food on the weekends probably one month once or twice but homecooked food is best and homecooked luxury food is far more excellent!

I have been judged countless of times by people near & far for being a SAHM at my age (26yo). Whenever I want to express my thoughts and plans to be a SAHM for a longer period, I get bashed down and washed cold with nasty sarcastic judgemental words. Hurtful? Definitely! But no one can understand a SAHM unless you've become one yourself. In fact, most moms would love to be a SAHM just to be there for their child 24/7 and watch them achieve their milestones while helping them achieve it along the way, however, not many have that chance to do so. The idea of being a SAHM is not "welcoming". The best thing to do is ignore these judgemental people, they don't know any better than you, "ignorance is bliss". You decide your own path that's best for your child's well-being and for your family, they don't decide for you.

One fine day, when those who judge become parents themselves. They will then "understand" why and this idea to be a SAHM will definitely come across their mind. Like the saying goes, the world is round so "what goes around, comes around". 

Oh, don't need to worry about making friends; By joining the right Mother's support groups online there are many other moms out there that makes a much better friend than those in the working environment because we can relate to one another easily. It's like a whole new world on its own and it is wonderful and abit noisy at the gatherings (from the kids playgroups hehe)
With this, I am proud to be a stay-at-home-MOM.

5 comments:

Ortolana Clare said...

I didn't know what SAHM meant until I looked it up. What you do is your choice and I think you made a good decision. :) Not many people would have the guts to do it.

Shereena Gill said...

Totally relatable. You are doing wonderful no matter what you choose. 💛

Joyce Rachel Lee-Bates said...

SAHM, WAHM, FTWM. I can be all if I want! :P

FiSh. ohFISHiee said...

That's why people say mom is always the best :) and I think you are pretty happy with your choice of being a stay-home mom

Pen My Blog said...

Definitely quite relatable so thank you for the share dear. As long as you are comfortable and happy with the choices you make then all is great.